finding creative motivation after a breakup {step two}

art by caitlin peters of wanderlustings

hello lovely people!

i'm here with step 2 of 5 in helping you reclaim your creative drive after a breakup. now these steps aren't just for this particular situation; you can also use these steps just for getting in touch with/finding your creative voice. or you could use these steps just for bettering yourself or finding inner-peace or even self-worth after a breakup. whatever the case may be, i hope these steps help spark something within you.

today's post is about choosing to find and appreciate the beauty around you.

as i relayed in my first step of this series, for most of my life i was full of self-loathing, pessimism and insecurities. definitely not the way you want to go through life. lots of these feelings can be related to the environment that surrounds you. growing up, i was constantly reminded to be scared or fearful of things, making me see the world as a horrible, frightening place. as a child, you can't really do anything to change your circumstances, unfortunately. but as an adult, you have the power and strength to change and challenge these flawed viewpoints and meet them with positivity, appreciation and excitement instead.

1. analyze your circle of friends
the first thing you should evaluate, after yourself, is the circle of people around you. i know it may sound callous, but if you want to feel good, you need to surround yourself with 'good' people. do you have a friend that is perhaps very closed off to trying new things or puts you down? maybe when you are excited about something, they will look at it in a negative light and their attitude about it will then get you down? trust me - i can relate.

so the question is:: why are you surrounding yourself with this type of negativity?

what are you getting out of this relationship? negativity is never nurturing. sometimes people are scared to 'be alone' or want to keep a menagerie of friends to feel good about themselves or are worried that their friend won't be able to cope without them. i know because i have experienced all of these reasons firsthand.

but the bottom line truth is:: your first concern should be yourself and your well-being.

it may sound really corny, baby, but you only get this one life. in order to achieve -- or heck, even just realize --  your dreams you need to ooze confidence, determination and positivity. these qualities are never going to flourish within you if you are constantly surrounded by people feeding you fear, negativity and insecurities -- ya savvy?

this doesn't mean that you have to completely break it off with this person; just interact and confide in them less. in turn, appreciate those friends who nourish and encourage your life and goals. you'll find that you enjoy doing and sharing things with them more because you feel so darn good when you're around them and as a result of all this you'll begin feeling amazing about yourself.

a beautiful, handmade card from one of my loving friends

2. seek out positive and encouraging friendships
if you don't have a friend you can turn to like this, maybe it's about time you started looking for one. when i first moved to the city and lived on my own i was very lonely and didn't have much luck meeting anyone that i really connected with. i think this was because, at the time, i really didn't know who i was or where i was going. so be true to yourself, your goals, your passions and interests. make a little list of things you really enjoy doing. for example, i am passionate about handmakers. i found this amazing group of girls in chicago with the same interests. by getting involved with them, i found some amazing friends. reconnect with old friends from school. don't turn down opportunities to meet new people. i am always challenged by this but i never regret following through on it.

3. you get what you give
be sure to always give out what you want to get back. meaning if you want people to respond to you with positivity, encouragement and love - be sure you are freewheeling those qualities in all interactions all the time! it makes me feel like a million bucks when i do so! and this doesn't mean you can't give your honest opinion about certain things - just do it in a nice and considerate way. people will appreciate that.

4. be mindful of what you say and how you act towards others
be mindful of what you say and how you say things. try not to be judgmental, sanctimonious, jealous, etc. if you do act this way, try to recognize that these qualities stem from insecurities that are within you. they may be buried so deep that you don't even realize that they're there. so i challenge you to dig and find out why you're behaving that way. when you do find the reason, recognize and acknowledge it. whenever i behave negatively, acknowledging my behavior and then recognizing where it stems from are two of the most helpful ways in guiding me to change and repair those thoughts and actions. and it's okay that you're thinking/feeling this way; you are NOT a bad person. but you are going to aim for betterment - that's all.

my gratitude journal that ima gave me.

5. keep a gratitude journal
another way you can learn to appreciate the beauty around you is by keeping a gratitude journal. this was such a beautiful idea from my amazing friend, ima. she gave me the book pictured above. every night, before i go to bed, i write down three things i am thankful/grateful for that day. i usually can't seem to stop myself at just three - so i allow myself to indulge in a few more. it's so low-committal and super-easy. i find that it puts me in a really good frame of mind right before bed and have more pleasant dreams.

6. be in nature - appreciate it
first off, that body you are in right now, is a miracle. you are a miracle of this universe. this earth and everything on it is a miracle. you are so lucky to be experiencing it right now. and chances are your life is pretty good. you have food, water, clothing, shelter and hopefully health. perspective. so get your miracle butt out the door and appreciate all this amazing earth has to share and offer.

lately, since it's been lovely out, i journal outside in the morning with my cup of tea. it feels like such a luxury. it is so peaceful with the birds chirping and chipmunks scampering by my feet. i also like to ride my bike on local trails, to the grocery store or even to visit people. all of it makes me so gosh darn happy. along the way i just look at the trees and the sky - it's heavenly.

if you are reading this and it's wintertime, bundle up, put on those boots, make yourself something warm and soothing and take a walk. notice all the beauty around you. one of my favorite moments is right after it snows; everything is so still, silent and sparkly - it amazes me every time. hell! play in the snow! one of my fondest memories was two years ago when a record-setting blizzard {or snowmageddon as newspapers called it} hit chicago. my sister and i attempted to shovel parts of my parents driveway. we ended up just playing in the snow; it was so much fun.

all of these things are really important in helping you get to a healthy frame of mind. when you're healthy, your creativity can blossom and flourish. so practice these items we discussed and then get ready for step three next week. we will talk about finding creative stimulators {as i like to call them - and yes, they are legal} on your journey to creative freedom!

if you missed it, read the first step here.